WARNING: This post is obviously TMI so read at your own risk. 🙂 I typically don’t write these kinds of personal posts, but I wanted this to be written somewhere. I wrote this a long time ago, but was waiting to add some pictures to it. I’m now 7 months postpartum.
Wow! What a couple months it has been! It’s been 8 weeks since I had Maddox and so much has changed. If you are about to have a baby, know that the first month is the worst and you will feel completely different once time passes. Those first couple of weeks I thought I would never feel the same (with both births).
I wanted to write a post on how I survived the first 8 weeks and my experience with delivering babies both cesarean and vaginal (VBAC specifically…Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). Of course, this will only be ONE person’s experience, but I remember searching so much on the internet for VBAC experiences, so I thought I’d put mine out there.
My experience with my first pregnancy was great. It was pretty easy for the most part, until the very end when we found out Beckham was breech. I found out around 32 weeks he was breech, but they can flip still at that point, so we waited. Side Note: If I had to go back again, I would have done every technique possible to flip baby (chiropractor, exercises, playing music low in belly, etc.). At 37 weeks he was still breech so my doctor performed an ECV (external cephalic version). You can read about it here. It didn’t work. Here I was after the procedure. A couple of hours later and that smile was wiped off my face…it causes cramping (if it doesn’t put you into labor).
So we planned for a c-section and hoped the baby would still flip. He was pretty big, so we were doubtful. Well, about a 1 1/2 weeks later (38.5 weeks), my water broke and I went in for my c-section. I labored a couple hours before he was delivered (just the prep time to get ready). You can read my birth story here. Beckham was delivered without a hitch. Everything went great.
Then, I woke up the next day! Holy cow. My legs were still weak and slightly numb. When I did my first “exercise”, which involved sitting up in bed and standing, as well as coughing, I thought I was going to DIE! It felt like someone was inside my stomach, cutting their way out with a knife. I could barely walk still 4 days later when we left the hospital. It hurt to stand up straight. The ride home…brutal! Got home and I had a fever of 102! Come to find out, I get this postpartum and there is such a thing as “postpartum fever.” (got it with second birth too). I think a lot of it had to do with all the pain meds??
On top of all the difficulties that come with becoming a parent and recovering from birth (breast feeding, sleep deprivation, etc), I couldn’t breast feed normally, but had to hold him like a football to feed because it hurt to lay him on my stomach. I hated this position. It takes like 5 minutes to set up all the pillows, get situated, get baby in right position, get him latched, and hope he feeds. So, I had to wait a couple weeks before I could feed across my body.
I would say around 3 weeks, I felt like I could walk around somewhat normally, but still had to be careful with how fast I got up and moved around. I didn’t have a toddler to run after though so it made it much easier to recover from that surgery. My scar healed great and is barely there now. It’s amazing how much it shrinks and fades. As far as the other junk that goes on postpartum (bleeding, first bowel movement pain, swollenness)…it all still happens. I wasn’t really prepared for that. My first BM was actually worse with my c-section.
Fast forward 2.5 years and Baby #2 was born. This last pregnancy was not fun, especially towards the end. I was more swollen, had way more pressure, was nauseas at the beginning, and got mastitis (yes, you can get a breast infection during pregnancy if you’re lactating…which I was). Sleeping was more uncomfortable and pregnancy is just plain harder with a toddler. If you’ve met my toddler, you’d know he’s extremely energetic. Not normal toddler energy, but 5 cups of coffee energetic! I was READY to have the baby! And of course, he took his sweet time. This picture is the day I started having contractions.
At 2 days shy of 40 weeks, I started getting contractions. Went to hospital, water broke in the bed, and 24 hours later, I had Maddox. You can read that story here. Since my c-section was planned, the biggest difference between the two deliveries was LABOR (and of course pushing). The labor sucked, even with an epidural. It was a LONG and tedious process and I had to work very hard to have him vaginally. It would have been much easier to pull him out of my stomach, but I kept remembering the recovery and knew I had to do this vaginally. This was my #2 reason to have a VBAC. My #1 reason was that I wanted to experience a vaginal birth, the way God created it, the way many of my friends had experienced. Luckily, I was able to do it. I pushed for 2.5 hours (1.5 of it simply flipping him face down). I tore pretty significantly, but my doctor didn’t seem too worried. Unfortunately, Maddox was 9.1 pounds and his head was WAY larger than a 40 week baby (measuring weeks ahead based on his head size)…EEEK!
First of all the experience of a vaginal birth was incredible. Not that it wasn’t with Beckham, but working so hard, pushing him out, and holding him right away was just so euphoric. I felt immensely empowered. I’m not going to lie, with a c-section, I felt depressed. Like I didn’t do anything to get him here. If you feel that same way, STOP. Let me tell you, it takes a special woman to be cut open, have a baby pulled out from you (through a very small incision I might add), and recover from surgery while caring for a newborn. I had to tell myself, that was the way God wanted him to come into the world. I’m very thankful for this procedure as it saves many little babies, as well as mom’s lives.
The recovery was so different. First of all, I got up to use the restroom, literally within minutes of being stitched up. But oh my, it felt like my insides were going to fall out. Tons of pressure down there. When she told me to sit in the wheel chair to go up to my room, I thought, is she serious…how in the world am I supposed to sit?! I remember leaning on my elbow a bit, cursing in my head, while I held Maddox, trying to pretend I was fine.
The hospital stay was much shorter (2 nights because he was born at night), but I never had a meltdown or felt like I was going to die. Everything was very tender, just in different areas. The contractions afterwards were stronger than before, but I hear that’s common in subsequent pregnancies.
I still had to use the squirt bottle and pat dry to use the restroom, but this continued at home much longer than with c-section. I bled about the same amount of time as before and was actually just as swollen. I had to walk gingerly for about a week and then still had to be slow to sit. I move much faster with a toddler and had to remind myself to slow down. Luckily, B was with family during a lot of my recovery. This recovery has been easier, yet taken longer. I still can feel the effects of the birth 2 months later and can’t do more than a brisk walk before my body says enough. Grocery shopping with 2 kiddos is my workout these days.
Having both a c-section and a VBAC, was how God intended me to deliver my babies. I would take a vaginal birth over a c-section any day (and my vaginal delivery was anything but easy). My body dealt with a VBAC much better. I’m sure if I had to have a repeat c-section, it would have been easier than the first, but I didn’t want to find out. Luckily, I had a doctor who supported my wishes and worked with me to give me MY dream day!
C-SECTION (planned):
Pros: No/Little laboring, No pushing, No damage to your lady parts, Fast delivery
Cons: Major surgery, Higher risk of complications, Longer recovery, Scar (the way it digs into my skin is more bothersome than the look of it), Felt like I didn’t work to bring him into the world during birth (this is just me though…and probably a really stupid thought…a REALLY stupid thought, but I’m just being honest)
VBAC:
Pros: Less risks (even with vbac), the experience of delivery, Better/Quicker recovery, Fewer days in hospital, Less pain meds, Less postpartum pain, Empowering feeling
Cons: Damage to lady parts, Lots of pressure down there postpartum, More leaking when I do too much
*I feel like this recovery has been much easier, but I have had to take things slower or my body tells me to stop (literally, I will leak if I do too much…it’s call lochia).
I wanted to document my experience with both deliveries and I hope some of you who were searching for experiences with both, found this helpful (or at least entertaining). If we decide to have another baby, I’ll try for a VBAC again, but a third baby is FAR from my mind. Like.Really.Far.
Do you have any tips on recovering from birth? Even this far after?
I only have experience with vaginal deliveries and I have only ever been induced – once 5 days after due date, once 1 week before. I will say I felt like my full recovery took way longer than my friends with c-secs. But I wouldn't trade those deliveries for anything in the world. Once the swelling subsides and you can sit normally again, there definitely IS that sense of empowerment at what you have accomplished 🙂 Let's face it, there is no easy or painless way to have a baby, so as Mommas, we should all embrace our birth stories and be proud of them…whatever they look like! This post is great! I have always been curious about VBACs! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Totally true…no easy way to get those suckers out. Consequence of Eve 🙂 I think it depends on your c-section (and vaginal birth for that matter)…mine was pretty harsh on recovery (but I think normal), but I've had friends who had no really bad issues recovering from them. And in a sense my VBAC took longer to recover, it just wasn't as horrible if that makes sense. I totally didn't think it would take that long to sit normally…whew! All in all, I do NOT recover well from having babies.
With my vaginal birth I felt much better each day which I was grateful for because I had to take my little guy to the doctor constantly to make sure he weighed enough and his jaundice improved. That's how I ended up exclusively pumping. But for my next baby I'm going to put my foot down… I had some out of town visitors bring their young kids and they pressured me to leave and bring my brand new baby to restaurants and the beach at about 1 week old! I feel so resentful about that!
Loved reading this post!
Thanks. Currently deciding on having a VBAC or a planned C section this summer. The first was an unplanned c section and I was pretty resentful of it. Now that it's for real again I'm on the fence. Do I go for a planned c section that I know what to expect or try for the vaginal I assumed I'd have to start with that comes with it's own unknowns? Having a less than 2 year old at home this time makes everything scary! Btw, I found your blog a few months back when looking for baseball party ideas. I used quite a few of yours for my son's first birthday!
First…you are adorable pregnant! I pushed all 5 out..the first two with no drugs and I can assure I wised up with the next 3!!! They say childbirth gets easier each time, I found that not to be the case for me. Olivia was pure torture,,,she was the smallest of all 5 and you would have thought she should have slid out at just over 6 pounds…I pushed for HOURs, epidural and every other drug known to man and it still hurt like hell. They finally used the vacuum because I was just done….and I was sore for a month! I swear of she was my first it would have been my last!!!!!! I am thankful I never had to have a section though because I couldn't even imagine the recovery while having other kiddos to chase after. C section or vaginal..it's all hard and all us mamas are champs! Loved this post
This was really interesting to read your thoughts on both types of deliveries. I've only had vaginal births so don't have anything to compare to, but know plenty of folks who have had c-sections. One of the biggest things we moms forget when we get home from the hospital is to TAKE IT EASY! Obviously, with older ones at home (we just had our littlest guy in October and he has 2 older siblings), that's easier said than done, but there were numerous times my bleeding was almost gone and then it would come back b/c I over-exerted myself. I think the cultures where moms stay with their daughters for like a month while they recover are totally onto something. It took me a good month before all my bleeding stopped and I felt like I was truly healed up (I tore with all of mine).
No experinece with c-section here, but my sister had one with her twins and it took her a long time to be able to walk and sit normally, and she exclusively nursed the twins for the first four months! My births were not too bad and I felt i recovered fairly quickly after each one. I guess it just depends on your body. I was on bed rest for the first two but not for the third. I do remember the doctor stretching my vagina like a rubber band with my last two births and that prevented me from tearing. I am small like 5'1" and about 115. My last two babies were close to 8lbs, that is huge for someone my size. Anyhow i learned to rest after each one and just not worry about house being cleaned. As long as my babies were fed and bathed everything else could wait.
Hey Olivia, I must say you I am impressed with your whole story. You mention every little detail about your birth stories and it is quite an incredible job. After giving a birth to a baby, you feel weak and helpless for some days but once all your senses come back you think about only one person – your baby. You minus yourself from the whole thinking pattern , you want to hold him , you want to take good care of him and so on. It becomes his life inside you, not yours. Sometimes, people say i became a “Mombie” but i don’t mind it. I like it this way. I also run a blog and wrote a story about my baby birth but it is not as detailed as yours but you may like to read it for once. Thanks dear, stay blessed.