I don’t even know how to begin this post or where it’s really going to go, but I wanted to write something on my journey over the last year or so. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know I’ve posted financial tips for a while. Tips that helped us pay off debt. I’m assuming many readers think I’m a frugal person and our budget is perfect. Well, no and no! Like many women, I want want want. It takes work for me to be frugal. And our budget is always being adjusted.
About a year ago, I started getting greedy. Always finding myself throwing a pity party for myself because I couldn’t buy this or that, couldn’t get a new car when I needed wanted it, couldn’t move into a bigger home, couldn’t remodel something in our house, etc. I was making “my own” money now with my Etsy shop, so I justified spending more. And I did. But guess what? I still wanted more and still felt the same things I just mentioned above.
I have since realized my need for greed was spurred a lot by social media, blogs, and Pinterest. And of course my weakness to overcome these desires (lack of getting in the Word). I was wanting what others had. Totally ignoring what enormous blessings I already have.
I’m in charge of documenting expenses in our budget since I do majority of the spending. I noticed each month over this year’s time got worse and worse. We spent more and more. I know we just had a baby and that’s going to incur some additional costs, but those expenses were not that big. It was just the other day that I was going over our October budget with Ryan and he started asking what he thinks have caused the increases. I started looking over past months and tried to notice any changes. To be honest, it was basically a little bit here and a little bit there. More costs in our house budget, shopping budget, eating out budget, etc. I think I have also felt more entitled to spend more since I’m now contributing financially while staying at home as well. It’s definitely lifted some pressure off our backs, but by no means frees me up to spend when I want because “everyone else does.” Do you ever feel that way? Like everyone is spending money and you’re not. Therefore you justify your spending? Maybe I’m the only one. My increased spending was/is very much tied to comparison – doing it because someone else has it and they’re happy with it.
Once I talked to Ryan and had him explain why so much of our budget goes to retirement (I do this all the time to talk me off the ledge), it brought me back to reality. We are living OUR life. Spending what WE make. We are called to be good stewards of the money God GIVES us. Why in the world would I spend like someone else does? Plus, the grass is not always greener on the other side. As a matter of fact, it rarely is. And then I read this…
It was a like a huge slap in my face. Me? Love money? Me? Love wealth? Yikes. God says, the love of money is the root of all evil. As a Christian, this is not what I want. This is not how God has designed me to live. How he wants me to witness to others. Plus, all this is “meaningless.” And it’s so true. I want to store up treasures IN HEAVEN, not here on Earth. There’s nothing wrong with having nice things and having goals for better things, but when it becomes similar to this verse above, it’s gone too far.
We’ve always lived a pretty simple life, but I feel like I’ve been trying to be someone I’m not financially. And quite frankly, it’s wasting my time. Trying to keep up with the Jones’s is tiring 🙂 We still will spend more money as we get older (higher costs, kids getting older, acquiring new things), but I hope I keep my eye on the (real) prize as we do.
I was driving around yesterday in the midst of my mom and I decorating for Christmas when I thought, I actually want to live a simple life. Decorating for Christmas makes me extremely happy. I rarely buy new décor for Christmas, yet I love it each year. And much of it is hand me downs from my mom or Goodwill finds. Simplicity is sometimes comforting. Accumulate less. Spend less (plus it’s more confusing to write down every expense when you have a lot). Be happy with what I have. Find the joy in the blessings I’ve been given. Prioritize what is worth spending money on and what is not during this time in my life.
It’s always kind of a challenge too. And I love a challenge. I guess this post serves as a way for me to reveal my honesty on this blog, as well as encourage those who beat themselves up about budgeting. It IS hard. I’m preaching to the choir here when I say, find joy in the journey!
In researching some quotes for this post, I came across some cool links on Pinterest about simplicity. Click on the picture for more information.
You know I have had the same struggles. I took a job for a few weeks, it was meant to be a long term thing, but while I was working we had two incomes, and i did the same thing, I spent more, we went out more, it made me happy if I wanted a cup of coffee on the way to work, I could buy one. I squandered every bit of that extra income and saved nothing. A few weeks into my working, my husband said it just wasn't working for us. He realized he needed me home. The kids needed me home. So I quit my job.
I still catch myself struggling with greed though, I am bah humbug at Christmas because I can't buy new decorations so I hate the perfectly decorated commercials and what not. I am still battling with greed. My husband isn't always on board with our finacial plans either. I think we need to talk again. Or we need to do some regrouping. I need to do alot of praying. Thanks for the post. It's good to know I am not completely alone.
My husband and I have to talk so much since we view money differently. You're definitely not alone! I need lots of prayer too 🙂
I have learned throughout my marriage as our income has gone form little to large and back again many times ( kids etc) that you truly spend what you make. We were so content with so little with a very small income, now our income has almost tripled since we got married ( 15 years ago) and I do not feel any further ahead, I have the same struggles now as then. I have a bigger house and more expensive toys ( cars etc) but that does not make me happy. It is hard to see all of our hard work go towards nothing… Society is so focused on what you drive, what kind of purse you have etc, that who you are doesn't matter. I think that is so opposite!! I have been trying lately to grasp the simple life too and focus on my family and making memories… I would rather spend my money on a vacation that we can all remember and enjoy than some new clothes or home decor… One blog I read the writer was saying people were telling her she needed to update her kitchen, she looked around and saw what they saw, umatched applicances erc.. then she thought about it and said… : I am so lucky to have a fridge that works, a table to feed my family, a couch were we can all sit and enjoy each other, who cares if they don't match, that doesn't matter"
You are totally right! The more you make, the more you spend.
Thank you for posting this- what a great post. I find myself "keeping up with the Snyders" sometimes 🙂 Not necessarily just you, but all the blogs I read. I see the pinterest-perfect pictures and homes and outfits and wish my life were like that. I like the quote I read before that says something along the lines of, "Facebook is everyone's highlight reel." We are only seeing the best of people online, not their hardships or imperfections! Although you are good about being honest on here, which I really appreciate. Anyway, just wanted to say I loved this post 🙂
Haha…don't keep up with us…we're a hot mess over here! I love seeing pretty pictures of everyone's "best" but just need to remember, that's their best 🙂
This post was exactly what I needed to read today as it resonates with exactly what I've been thinking about and dealing with myself lately…specifically this last year I have found myself shopping way more than I ever have and wanting more than I've ever wanted and as this year is about to come to an end I am thinking of how I'm going to go into 2015 and change my ways get back to the same budget we used to be on…and put our money where it really matters. While I'm sad that you are probably feeling the same way as me I am excited to see how your journey goes should you choose to share it
Me too Val! I feel like I spend quicker too with a baby…in survival mode and I am not thinking through a lot of my purchases as much as I used to. Can I blame the baby? Haha just kidding. 2015 will be better. We have a car to save for so we need to be organized with our budget.
This post speaks to my heart. Over the past year, I've been reading many new blogs, and I find that they all seem to sell, sell, sell. Their message?? "Buy this scarf – all of the cool moms have it! Look at my beautifully decorated house! Everyone has these decorations!" The materialism has become overwhelming. What I like about your blog is that you are authentic about putting people first. I love your posts about a special nail polish or a great deal – that really is relevant to me as a mother who needs to have a budget. You are setting a good example, and I think that the Lord is guiding you in that way. You share what makes your home special without spending tons of money. You are joyful about finding a great deal without being excessive.
It's tough to admit that we've strayed away from our original intentions, but you realize it, and you are human to admit it. I applaud you for not falling into that "inauthentic" trap that some other bloggers seem to have done. I really appreciate your message.
Aww thank you. I hope my blog is always authentic. I love pretty and expensive things, but that's not life right now. Although I'm blessed to have so much already.
Olivia~ Such an true statement, at least in my case. It does seem like when we get a little extra cash, we have to spend it on "the wants" instead of being happy what God has provided us with. I, too, get entrapped by all the pinterest wants or even what my friends have. There are times my husband & I have to just take a step back & say we don't need it, and just add it to a wish list for a better time that is more compatible with our budget for our family. We are working on trying to get out of debt, and so far it has been a rough road to get there. Lots of obstacles have prevented us from achieving some of our goals; therefore, it is indeed a work in progress. I am just glad you are just as normal as the rest of us. Keep up the great work you do on your blog. Looking forward to many more subjects to come.
Getting out of debt is hard and often times depressing. Good luck and hopefully things free up to allow you to pay it off. It's hard when those unexpected things come up and make it even harder.
Thank you for sharing this! I needed to read this and settle myself down. Over this Thanksgiving weekend I had gotten pretty frustrated with issues regarding money and finances. My husband and I both work, have a house, and no kids. We have always tried to save money. Anyway, over the weekend, I heard a few comments about how we are "cheap" or mocking us for being "frugal." And it's for things like not wanting to go out to $100+ dinners or on big vacations or something like that. I've heard the comments before, but I was about to my breaking point this weekend. How we spend (or don't spend) our money is up to us. If we want to save and not do those things, that is our choice and I don't think I should have to hear little comments about it. This post helped me calm down and realize that I have a great life and I am happy. I shouldn't let what other think or say get to me. So thank you for writing this down, right when I needed to read it.
People are crazy Ericka! Dave talks about how if people are making fun of you or mocking you for being 'frugal" then that is a GREAT sign that you are doing exactly what you should be and are on the right track. If I ever hear people say that about husband (he's the more frugal one), I secretly laugh inside and rejoice that we will be sitting pretty when we're older. And not paying thousands or hundreds of thousands on interest over our life time. 🙂
Hi, you don't know me, but I've been reading your blog for quite some time. Tonight I sat down with my blog reader after the kids went to bed, and as I was scrolling through I randomly clicked on this post. It was exactly what I needed! We are a one income family and my husband is getting an unexpected bonus soon. We were already talking about all the things we could buy and basically had it spent in our heads. This brought me back to reality about it all. Thank you!
I love your blog so much and I especially love this post! Your blog is my favorite to read because you are so relatable and just like all of us who sometimes can't do or buy everything we like and have to make sacrifices. This post just reminded me that especially at Christmas time, material things will not bring us peace and happiness. 🙂
This post was just what I needed. Just this weekend I was getting caught up in the keeping up with everyone else trap. We went on a quick out of town trip to get away and the whole time I was in a bad mood because it seemed everyone else was buying everything they wanted and driving off in their new cars. I missed out the fun of the trip, by not being happy with what we have. We are nearly debt free and trying to stay that way, by the time we came home, I was ready to start looking for a new car because I felt I deserved it, like everyone else. I am now re-focused on what is best for us, and our family… and not feeling like we should have to keep up. Thank you!
Thanks Jen! That just made my day! Every now and then I think about giving up blogging (so hard right now to find time to even do it and wonder if it even matters), but then I get comments like this and it encourages me.
Anonymous, I actually have said out loud to my husband "I deserve it!" Geez. Spoiled much? Money is definitely a hot topic in the Bible, and I think it's evident why. It's definitely a heart issue.
Thank you for posting this! I loved reading it!!! Xoxo
Thanks Kimm! It was random, but it was on my heart. I hope to come back to it when I'm feeling entitled again…cause I'm sure I will continue to fall in the trap of "needing things"
You are just absolutely fantastic and I feel like I could have written this post (though not as well). Thank you for your honesty and for "getting" it. You are a blessing to me and I pray that both of us have the strength to happily live simple lives. High five!